Dear Diary,
It happened again. Dad left his socks on the floor, and I—being a responsible household inspector—confiscated them for safety reasons. I was halfway to my bed when he spotted me. He used the “Louie!” voice (the serious one). I froze mid-mission, socks dangling like trophies. I gave him my best “innocent face.” It worked for 2.3 seconds… until Frank barked and blew my cover.
Lesson for today’s humans: Dachshunds are natural collectors. We don’t steal—we curate. If your sausage dog loves hoarding socks, toys, or slippers, it’s usually boredom or bonding. Try rotating toys weekly or creating a “treasure box” they’re allowed to fill. Keeps us happy and keeps your socks safe.
